Mixed feelings and resistance are normal and natural parts of change. We like being in our comfort zones, and even the tip of your toenail out of the zone can be anxiety-ridden.

Rather than avoid the feelings and thoughts of resistance, embrace them. Describe these thoughts and feelings to get them out in the open. Ambivalence and resistance are valid and legitimate. Assume they have a reason to be there.

As you are trying to make changes toward goals, here is an exercise that may help with exploring resistance. 

I will use my own example of a goal to watch less Netflix. 

Two Crazy Questions

1) What is GOOD about NOT changing? (In other words, how does keeping things the same help you?) 

Netflix shows are both entertaining and informative. The entertaining shows provide stress relief, and documentaries give me more information about topics I’m already interested in or introduce me to new topics. There’s always some new content to browse.

2) What might be BAD about changing? (In other words, what might you have to give up or lose? What would suck if you changed?)

I might miss out on some entertaining and informative content and not participate in the public conversation around the buzz of new shows.

What I find fascinating about this exercise is how the answers shape my thinking. My answers to #1 are legitimate. Zoning out in front of the TV is a form of stress relief and one mode of entertainment. I do enjoy documentaries as well. But, is this the only method to be entertained or informed? Certainly not! My answer to #2 is weak when I actually read it. So what if I miss out. I thought I was over FOMO, but I guess deep down I may not be. 

These are two crazy questions, but they have a way of re-framing the way you think about changing behavior. Consider asking these questions next time you encounter some resistance when trying to make a change.