This is a collection of notes on my journey into the concept of Essentialism.

Essentialism - An introduction

It is the ability to choose which makes us human. –Madeleine L’Engle

Have you ever felt stuck because you believe you did not really have a choice? Have you ever felt the stress that comes from simultaneously holding two contradictory beliefs: “I can’t do this” and “I have to do this”? I certainly have.

For too long, we have overemphasized the external aspect of choices (our options) and underemphasized our internal ability to choose (our actions). Options (things) can be taken away, while our core ability to choose (free will) cannot be. I’m not going to go down the rabbit hole of discussing the existential question of whether free will exists. For the purpose of this discussion, I will assume it does.

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. –Samuel Johnson

The book Unchain the Elephant by Erik Wahl popularized the story of an elephant caught in the wild and raised in captivity. The elephant was used to roaming in the wild but in captivity, he was kept on a chain. He was restricted to the area of a circle with a radius equal to the length. The elephant was kept this way for many years until one day the chain was removed. The elephant did not suddenly realize freedom and run away or start exploring. He had been chained for so long that he developed a learned helplessness. 

Learned helplessness happens with humans as well. When people believe that their efforts at work don’t matter, they tend to respond in one of two ways. Sometimes they check out and stop trying. The other response is they do the opposite. They become hyperactive. They accept every opportunity presented. They throw themselves into every assignment. They try to do it all. At first glance, this behavior does not seem like learned helplessness. Isn’t working hard evidence of one’s belief in one’s importance and value? The problem is that the compulsion to do more is really just a smokescreen. The people who do this don’t believe they have a choice in what opportunity, assignment, or challenge to take on. They believe they “have to do it all.”

To become an essentialist requires a heightened awareness of our ability to choose. 

Nonessentialist

“I have to.”

Forfeits the right to choose

Essentialist

“I choose to.”

Exercises the power of choice

When we forget our ability to choose, we learn to be helpless. Drip by drip we allow our powers to be taken away until we end up becoming a function of other people’s choices or a function of our own past choices. An essentialist knows that when we surrender our right to choose, we give others not just the power but also the explicit permission to choose for us.