I arrived office in the office this morning and greeted myself with a minor sneezing fit. I can’t remember the last time I sneezed exactly one time. Two is the bare minimum. If someone sneezes twice and stops, it usually means the irritant that precipitated the sneeze has been expunged. Even a third sneeze can be classified as such. Once you reach four consecutive sneezes, however, something else is going on. 

I sneezed four times upon entering my office. I believe the root cause is environmental, perhaps some cleaning products used by the evening janitorial service. The last time I sneezed multiple times was earlier in the week as a result of an olfactory assault. Sometimes my nose will get congested or start running during a meal, which is a harbinger for sneezing and an indicator that I chose the wrong fuel.

I have witnessed this type of exchange many times. Someone sneezes multiple times, and another person accuses the person of being sick. The sneezer responds, “I’m not sick. It’s just allergies.” Now, why would he or she respond like that? If it is a public place such as an office or an airplane, my guess is that the sneezer wants to assuage any concerns of being sick but also contagious. Ever the contrarian, if I sneeze multiple times and someone yells, “Sick” I respond, “Yep, yep, I better go home and go to bed.”

This week I was reminded of a former hearing-impaired coworker who had a penchant for sneezing and the world’s loudest sneezes. Each sneeze was a combination of shout-cough-sneeze that reverberated throughout the office. After the first few times, it no longer jolted me. In fact, I rather enjoyed watching it shake up people who were otherwise calmly sitting at their cubicles “resting their eyes.” 

I was talking with a friend of mine about this topic, and she remarked that this week a coworker of hers came into the office sick. He was coughing, sneezing, had no voice. He actually admitted that he was sick and felt terrible. She thought to herself, “Well then why did you come to work!?” I would have said it directly to him.

So why do people come to work when they are sick? I’ve heard a variation of this comment: “Well I’d rather be at work than at home.” If that’s the case, that person has more problems than being sick from the sounds of it. 

I have my own theory about why people come to work sick. Back in the good ol’ days companies used to tabulate sick days and vacation days in separate buckets. If you were sick, you took a sick day. It had no effect whatsoever on your vacation days. At some point either due to ease of administration or to ultimately save money, companies decided to lump all paid time off in one bucket called PTO. Now if you want to take a day off for any reason, you have to take a day out of your PTO bank. With one bank of hours for all time off, it’s a zero-sum game. One day off due to sickness is one day fewer for a future vacation. Some people don’t want to “waste” PTO on sickness, so they show up at the office, deliver sub-par performance, get paid the same, and may get co-workers sick in the process. Companies need to come up with strategies to de-incentivize this behavior. 

3-14-20

It is interesting to revisit this post in light of the recent events related to COVID-19. Companies are not messing around anymore. The client I work for is setting most staff up to work remotely. If you do go to work and are showing symptoms of any kind, I’m sure you’ll be asked to go home.

A friend of mine sent me a funny meme: 

Before Coronavirus, I’d cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.

When I was at the airport two days ago, I saw a variety of people wearing face masks. What goes through your mind when you see someone wearing a face mask? Do you think, “Maybe I should be wearing one too?” or “Silly person, that’s not going to help them.” How about, “Maybe that person is sick and protecting everyone else from their germs. I better stay away from them.” I don’t give much thought to what other people are doing unless it directly impacts me. I’m also not wearing any face masks.

I hope this pandemic is a wake-up call for people to start taking better care of themselves. I’ll be the first one to admit that I carried out an unhealthy lifestyle for many years. Eventually, it catches up with you. How you sleep matters. What you eat matters.

Stay healthy, friends.