At the end of August I reached the four-month mark in Project Food as Fuel. 

I should be thrilled with my progress. My numbers have improved and by and large are moving in the right direction. I am getting closer to achieving my goal of reversing type 2 diabetes. I know it’s possible, and I know I can do it. 

I should be happy about that.

But I’m not.

In communications with my doctor and health coach, there is a subtle difference between the standard they use and the standard I use. I get the impression that when they say, “You are much healthier” the part that’s implied is (for a diabetic). I don’t want to be healthy (for a diabetic). I want to be healthy period. Forget the parentheses.

Aside–I rather like parentheses, especially in song titles. Dude (Looks Like a Lady), (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction, It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll (But I Like It), Break On Through (To the Other Side), It’s a Long Way to the Top (If you Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll), (Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher and Higher, (Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay), Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going to Be a Long Long Time), Pride (In the Name of Love), It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine), You’re In My Heart (The Final Acclaim)

I know that life is not going to be the same as it was. I have to be more vigilant about health. The challenge for me is that I can’t see the road ahead. I can’t see a year or two or three down the road and what that looks like. Am I going to have to keep up extreme measures for the long haul? There is no finish line. Once I am satisfied that I have reversed my condition, that’s only the beginning. I still need to put in the work to maintain it or I’ll end up right back where I started.

Despite the uncertainty, I press on one day at a time. Thanks for coming along on this journey.