200 Words A Day archive.

Personality isn't permanent

@colemanfoley mentioned that he was reading Benjamin Hardy’s new book Personality Isn’t Permanent, and it piqued my interest so I got a copy. I recognized Benjamin’s name from my time writing on Medium.

On the book jacket is a blurb from Seth Godin:

“This is a generous, empowering, and purposeful book. If you’re ready, it will help you unlock a future that you may have been brainwashed into believing wasn’t possible. Worth sharing a copy with someone you care about.”

I’ve only read the introduction and Chapter 1, but so far this book has me doing some deep thinking. For many years, I have grappled with the idea of identity and trying to figure out who I am and how changeable I am. According to Hardy, what we have been taught about personality being stable and an innate part of who we are is nonsense.

In Chapter 1, there are questions at the end of each subsection that I have been pondering. I want to keep a running list and will document them here. 

  • In what ways have you defined yourself or others by what was done in the past?
  • Have you limited and overly defined yourself by categorizing or typifying yourself?
  • What would happen if you stopped boxing yourself into a category and opened yourself to the possibility of change?
  • Who is your future self?
  • How often do you imagine and consciously design your future identity?
  • What would happen if you based your identity on who you want to be, rather than who you’ve been?
  • What stories are you telling about your past self?
  • Who was your former self?
  • In what ways are you different from your former self?
  • How has your past changed due to more recent experiences?
  • How would your life be different if your past was something happening for you rather than to you?
  • How could life change if you embraced the truth that your former and current selves are two fundamentally different people?
  • How would your life be if you never again blamed or limited yourself and your future based on the past?
  • What purpose are you creating for yourself?
  • What would happen if you stopped trying to find yourself, and instead became more creative and collaborative?
  • How would your personality develop and change if you went to work on it, chiseling and shaping it in desired ways?
  • Who would you be if you could creatively design yourself? (Hint: You can.)
  • Who do you really want to become?
  • What would happen if you stopped trying to be “authentic,” and instead faced the truth of why you’re limiting yourself?
  • What would happen if you had hard conversations with the important people in your life?
  • What would happen if you were “true” to your future self, not your current fears?