Difficult-easy - This is the stuff we do that’s stressful, challenging, and/or irritating. It’s the pain we recognize that is very familiar.

Examples:

• being “busy”
• taking care of everyone else’s needs but your own
• rushing, feeling frazzled and having too many commitments
• feeling scattered with lots of distractions
• feeling guilty or angry about having “failed”
• criticizing yourself

Difficult-easy takes a lot of effort, but you don’t really go anywhere or learn anything or grow.

Difficult-difficult - This is the stuff that is also uncomfortable and what we may be fearful of. These are the things outside of our comfort zone where true growth can occur.

Examples:

• intentionally slowing down and being mindful
• following a plan consistently over the long term
• setting priorities to only do what really matters
• being vulnerable
• being comfortable with mistakes and uncertainty
• caring for yourself

Difficult-difficult is truly challenging stuff. It’s what most of us avoid because growth is hard work.

Some actions are painful but familiar but often useless.

Some actions are painful but valuable. 

So if you haven’t guessed it already, it’s time to think about your difficult-difficult challenges. It doesn’t mean you have to climb a mountain or run a marathon. It could even be as simple as saying “no.”

How do you find your difficult-difficult?

Ask yourself some questions. What are you afraid of? What do you typically avoid because it’s uncomfortable? What is the opposite of how you normally approach a problem? 

I am not implying that the way you operate is somehow bad or wrong. I’m saying there might be some room around the edges where you can expand if you look for the boundaries and dare to step outside of them.