When I was a kid there were all sorts of rules I had to follow. I didn’t get to do whatever I wanted all the time. I had to do some form of work to earn the rewards.
- Finish everything on your plate before you get to have dessert.
- Finish your homework before you can watch TV for a limited time.
- Clean your room before you can play video games for a limited time.
- If you want to buy something, do your chores and wait for an allowance.
When I moved out and started college, the rules were no longer enforced. I was left to operate on my own. Those who read my Ode to Pizza probably have an idea of how that turned out. I broke free from the rules. I went straight to the rewards without having the discipline to do the work to earn them. I basically did what a kid would do without a parent imposing discipline. We all know how a kid like that will grow up under those circumstances. Not good.
For whatever reason, many adults live in a similar fashion. They eat junk food and desserts all the time. They play video games or scroll through social media for hours on end. They binge-watch Netflix shows perhaps wasting full evenings or entire days.
When you experience rewards without earning them, you will eventually experience negative consequences.
I’m guilty of going straight to the rewards first just as much as the next person. So, I have started asking myself a question:
Did I earn it?
Before I sit down and watch an episode of a show (NOT The Walking Dead, I don’t care how good you supposedly have gotten, too little too late), I ask myself “Did I earn it?” Maybe I didn’t read anything or write anything or do any work to improve myself that day. Should I really be wasting that hour with mindless TV watching? On the other hand, maybe I had a power-packed day full of self-development and providing service to others. Maybe I haven’t watched anything in a week and I allow myself one hour. Because I have earned it.
Look, you are an adult. You can do whatever you want. I’m not going to impose any rules on you or try to hold you accountable. I’m only suggesting that you start asking yourself a question. The next time you are about to do something that feels good, pause for a moment and ask yourself…
Did I earn it?
3-25-20
I was thinking the other day about how I reward myself. The go-to item used to be food, but that’s a no-no. I feel like my 30’s represented the decade where I rewarded myself indiscriminately without earning it. Once I turned 40, it seems like things finally caught up to me.
I will confess that I’m not leading a joyful life right now. My focus is not on happiness or seeking pleasure. My focus is on improving myself and working toward a better future. This would include positioning myself to do the work I was meant to do and get out of the “rat race.”
In other words, I’m in “earning it” mode. I have been in this mode for a while and will be in this mode for the foreseeable future. “But wait, won’t you get burned out?” one might gasp. No, I don’t think so. I’m enjoying the process. I’m making the sacrifice now to have the benefit later. I know life won’t always be this way.
There will be a time for celebrations. I am planning a reward for a major accomplishment that I will announce soon. I can tell you for this particular one, I earned it.