This morning I was in the break room at the office washing the coffee mug I use for broth. A woman walked by me, and a moment later I was hit with a wave of pungent perfume. It smelled like a combination of a flowery cleaning product and hair chemicals used for a permanent. It was so bad that I had an overwhelming urge to sneeze and my eyes started to water. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough to recover from the olfactory assault.

This experience reminded me of when my cat Chewy smells something strong. One time she sniffed a sharpie marker, and she winced and opened her mouth and started licking with her tongue in an attempt to dilute the effect.

Just one of these experiences is enough in one day, but alas there was another.

This afternoon I walked into the men’s room and was hit with another smell. This was not a wave that came over me but a cloud of cloying stench hovering in place for all who dare to enter. This smell was so bad that I had to perform an immediate calculation to determine whether I could hold my breath for the length of time required to complete my business. I decided not to take the chance and walked out and downstairs to the other men’s room.

I hope I can make it through the rest of the day without another olfactory assault.